WARNING!!! IF YOU CHOSE TO READ THIS JUST KNOW IT'S MY OPINONS.
Recently my uncle plead guilty for molesting young girls. This brought back all the old memories and feelings that i once put behind me. Something i had once forgiven and got over i was forced to relive and deal with again. There were 3 sisters, very young ages that he molested over a dozen times. He used his power as a "Bishop" of the LDS church to gain their trust and access to there homes when the parents weren't home. Being a victim of him as a child and now being a mother it ate at me, interupted my normally happy thoughts. When he was on trial i decided not to step forward and say anything. I didn't want to upset my cousins (his children.) I didn't want to bring my family (kids,parents siblings etc) into it. Now i regret that decision more then anything. I put everyone, including myself in front of those 3 little girls who needed a voice more then anything else. As a mother of 3 girls, and a victim myself, i should of said SOMETHING. Even though he got the maxium sentence (30 to life), even though he is serving time,(First chance of parole was set for 2015) i should of said something. If those were MY girls, i would of said something. I would of wanted someone to step forward too. Now i sit here in the aftermath of it all dealing with everything. More then anything i am angry! I am angry he hurt soo many little girls. There is NO JUSTICE for that,EVER! He stole there innocence, no amount of time in prison will give that back to them or me. The part of a child that can trust an adult fully. Childhood should be about toys,playing & having fun not worrying about an older man touching you places. I am ANGRY that my whole family is more worried about HIM and how prison will treat him "Will he get sodimized" "Will he be killed". I hope nothing happens to him bc then i am no better then him BUT if something does...it is his fault. He did that to those girls, put himself in prison around men who don't take lightly to child abusers. I am so mad! I have been crying all dam day about it. I thought it was over it when i was a child. I thought i was okay...i'm not. There is no closure, no justice. He did it to me, a person waaay before me, someone else i know, those 3 girls at least a dozen times and two other adults who came forward who said he did it to them when they were younger. Who knows how many others?? I don't feel bad for him. I am ANGRY with him. He could of got help when he realized he had a problem, not continued to do it! He has destroyed so many young girls innocence. Who knows how many??? Who knows if there is others like me who stayed in the dark and silence and said nothing??? Who knows?? I don't know how i feel towards him other then ANGRY!. 2- 30 years seems like nothing compared to what he has taken from so many forever. I don't want him to get life but i don't think the sentence he got was fair. I don't know what i think would be "fair". He admitted to it, he said he was sorry but it was AFTER he was caught, AFTER he was staring down the long road called prison. Sometimes there isn't anything that can be said or done to heal scars so deep. I just know that people like this MAKE ME SICK!! How dare you take that away from ANY CHILD! I am writing this so i can get it out and move on. If i could i would hug those girls and tell them that everything is ok. I wish i could... i am sure they don't really understand what happened. They probably won't tell they get older. I didn't. He is my uncle and he is family but that does not mean i have to stand behind him. I hope he gets the help he needs but there is no healing the pain he caused.
